The only way to travel.....

......at this time of year.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!


From BB, LL & PP xxx

Wintery Wonderland......

........we have had a shed load of snow over here - between 6 and 10 inches for most of the last two weeks.


The people on our estate really know how to do snowthings (with Pinky thrown in for some scale reference).

The countryside has been looking beautiful and the roads have been a welcome challenge.

Last weekend got to make the most of it starting with the Christmas shoot on Saturday. I didn't have my camera so don't have many pictures of any of it unfortunately.


I had been reliably informed that this was going to be quite a booze-up and I was not disappointed. I thought this lot would be a special drink to go with lunch but it turned out to be our elevenses, served with hot soup and bread rolls. 

Here's one I had to put out of it's misery - 

A lot of people also had hip flasks with a variety of different moonshines and by the time lunch came around I was well oiled and I think most people were as well.

Lunch went on for about four hours and was delicious, with plenty of grog flowing all over the place. 


Highlights, some of which I can actually remember myself, include breath-freshening peppermint booze (50% WOOF!!), unsuccessful attempts at shotgunning cans (Guinness for me - don't recommend trying that at home) and a massive snowball fight  that lasted for half an hour or so.


LL's cousin Lucy and her Jack Russell Tinker left with us and the five of us (including Pinky) went to the pub (the first one wouldn't let us in) for a totally unnecessary pint. Then back home where I passed out sharpish. Apparently Lucy was in the igloo at some point but I don't remember that at all. 


Sunday started with a bang. A repetitive BANG BANG BANG inside my brain. I was desperate for a drink of water but could not get out of bed so had to ration the small glass I had by the side of my bed over a few hours. We got up and had breakfast and LL informed me that we were going sledging - oh yes.


We went over to her brothers house where he had piste bashed a hill in his field the night before and armed with a variety of sledges ranging from an awesome home made wooden two-seater, to an unmade-up plastic box , we went crazy on the hill for a few hours.

I made sure all the kids gave me sufficient goes on their sledges but found my favourite was a plastic sign with the front cut into a point. Here is a video of me in action on it (first time I have put on a video so hopefully it works) - 

Here is LL racing, and whooping the arse of her nephew on the same beasts.

Pinky enjoyed herself too.

Knackered and aching afterwards but was brilliant fun.


Now I am meant to be flying back to England tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will allow.


HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! Hope to see you in 2011 if not before. 

Last few days....

...have been good ones.


As well as all the usual awesome stuff I have been getting up to, I got the call to go shooting on Wednesday afternoon with CK where we walked around his folks' garden for a couple of hours, peppering a few pigeons with the shotguns. Kablammo!!! Luckily for the birds of County Down they will all live to see another day. Great day for it in the snow and the sun. 


On Thursday I got my friend FF to take me tree climbing. He is a tree surgeon and as it is something I plan to get myself into I thought it would be a good idea to go up a tree first to see what it is like. I have what has proved up to this point to be a healthy fear of heights and was worried I would not be able to get up a tree, or worse still, get back down once I was up.


I went over to Seaforde where they have another nice view of the Mourne mountains - been there done that.

When it was time to go up the tree FF went up first to get the rope up. He has all the kit and the skills and I knew I was in good hands as he shot up.

Where's he gone? Whoah Nelly!!

At this stage I think I shouted up that this first time up I only wanted to go really bloody high, I didn't need to go up to the twig level and would be happy sticking to the branches. I hauled myself up afterwards and got about as high as he was here - more than high enough for me. I was pretty happy with my ability and skill. Then, before he had me out walking along the twigs, I said lets go down (slowly) and get some lunch.


Luckily FF's mum had put on some soup so I didn't have to rely on his culinary talents alone. FF had taken me into his kitchen for a coffee before we went out and had offered me some mealworms. I thought he was joking until he showed them to me - these of course being raised to feed some of the animals in the butterfly house. Then we started talking about eating insects and he said he had been given a book about it, and as well as that he just so happened to have some large edible ants lying about the place as well. 

I can now say that I have eaten an ant. A giant toasted one at that. I am in no rush to eat another one and mealworms will have to wait for another day.


Suitably impressed with my high levels of masculinity, I thought I was on a roll and the only thing for it was to go and get some tools from the hardware store. Off to Jacky Brown's I goes and came home with these - 

A new hatchet and blowtorch for me. LL had better behave herself from now on or else. I have used the hatchet to make kindling to light the fire with but in all likelihood the blowtorch will only be used to burn excess feathers of pheasants and toast the top of creme brulees which is OK with me.


That night LL had a wine tasting evening and as a swallower not a spitter I was undeniably merry before too long. Of the wines that caught my eye was this - produced by one of the less well known and certainly less popular of the Saints.

Saint Bris - the patron Saint of circumcision. Just when the monks thought that a life of abstinence and spiritual contemplation was going to be tough enough, Saint Bris came along and really burst their bubbles. 


Dinner party at CK's on friday with great food and wine, cigars and sloe potcheen (a local moonshine made from potatoes and great for stripping paint), and a new game (for me) on the snooker table - called Freda (I think) where you have to throw the white to hit a single red ball before it stops moving or you lose a life - awesome fun and a lot easier than real snooker. Good fun.


After all of the fun man stuff I had been doing karma was bound to come and bite me on the arse. True to form LL had organised a babysitting trip for me to her sister's house down south where for one night only we were looking after five girls between 2 and 7 years old. It turned out to be a very good laugh and the girls were all very well behaved and stayed friends for most of the time at least. I made it out of there without having any makeup applied and only had to sit through the first half of the best of Abba CD whilst they were showing off their dance moves.


Home at last and able to relax. Well done Matt winning the X-Factor. I always thought he was the best one. 


What next? 

Beautiful day in NI today....

.....bit cold mind.

New Earrings......

.......Eat your heart out Pat Butcher.

I was given a brace of pheasants at a shoot the other day. Apparently you are not a proper country man until you have given a back, sack and crack to some dead game birds.


I turned the radio on and began the plucking proceedings, not knowing what the hell I was doing. 

Pinky was enjoying eating and choking on the odd feather, the same cannot be said for me. 

Halfway through and I had torn one bird to bits, filled up a plastic bag with feathers, a head and some feet, and made a mess of the kitchen. One more to go.


Having plucked, decapitated and made legless the second bird I had to shove my hand up their backsides and scoop out all the stuff inside - of which there was way more than I thought there would be. Retchety retch!!


I had to singe off the remaining feathers and hairs but having no blowtorch, I went to buy some meths from the petrol station but they didnt have any. I then tried to get some cognac from the local off licence and the girl didnt know what it was and I couldnt see any so that was no good. In the end I held them over our living room fire for as long as my hands could bear and LL could hold Pinky back. 

Looking good(ish). Then into the freezer they went. Will make sure they get munched soon. In all it took me a few hours including excursions. 


I am a pheasant plucker, not a pheasant pluckers son. And I'll pluck another pheasant when I'm finished with this one. 

The Hunt Ball

On Saturday we were invited to the Killultagh Hunt ball with some friends.


It was held at the Europa Hotel in Belfast which has the highly sought after honour of being the most bombed hotel in the world. 


Suitably black tied and kevlar jacketed up we went along. Was good fun with lots to eat and drink, dancing and laughs.


The organisers had an auction and competitions galore. My favourite part was when someone was on the microphone thanking various people who had assisted with the night and with the hunt in general. When he said "I would like to thank the people who support the hunt - the hunt supporters" I nearly pissed myself.


The band started up soon after and LL and I went up to have a boogie - need to get a lot of practice in before June next year. A huge amount in fact. The band stopped playing the macarena long enough for the singer to announce that I had won a prize for being the first man on the dance floor - woohoo. Turns out my prize was a three pack of grundies, the nicest pair of which are these: 

{Author's note -  I do not recommend trying to take a picture of yourself wearing prize grundies. It is not fun or flattering, and nor unfortunately is it big or clever.}


We didn't last too long and got a cab back.


On Wednesday LL came home with the Farming Life newspaper and there we were:

I've never been in the paper before. I read another local paper the other day and it was full of schools and community groups winning awards and local people committing various misdemeanors, including a woman that was in possession of a stolen television and a man who was arrested for kicking the door of the pub he had been ejected from.


I was posting a parcel the other day and found myself reading another country life publication, this time about forestry and giant machines for cutting the shite out of everything and was drawn to this picture

I only wish I had been here on the 5th of June and had known about this party at Earnshaw's. I would have loved to have seen the Adam's Axemen, as well the other varied attractions, although I am not sure there would have been space for me amongst the huge crowds.

I would have also liked clarification on what to 'ding & ding only' means. I am finding some aspects of this country living confusing but am enjoying the learning. 

Oh yeah........

I have found the place where I want to spend all my holidays. And days off. And sick days. And all other days in fact.


If this is what trailer trash people get up to all day then how do I sign up? 

Not sure about the 'families welcome' bit though.

Bah Humbug!!!

Dont you just hate it in November when every advert on TV is a Christmas one and the shops start playing Christmas music, selling decorations and everything generally reminds you that "The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming, ....."


Here in NI it is no different. Halloween is a big one over here but no sooner had the excitement worn off and it is onto Christmas.


Our closest big(ish) town is having a Narnia based grotto this year. Unfortunately for myself and the other kids of Downpatrick, we are not going to be able to see Santa until three days before Christmas. He must be busy elsewhere until then.


He is going to make it up to us however by making himself available there for over eleven months. Woohoo!

Stereotype confirmed again. Ho Ho Ho!!!


Merry Christmas all.

Currency - part 2

After the ten pound note with the rollneck jumper comes this - 

It's another ten pound note and on this one is the Bushmills Whiskey Distillery. 


They are not doing much to dispel the stereotypes and rumours that abound about the Irish are they? 

Awesome Graffiti

I was out the other day and came across some of the most awesome graffiti I have ever seen.


Whoever did this piece - it looks like his/her name is Gazza - is so far ahead of their time it is incredible. And I bet they do not even realise it.

If you zoom in and look really carefully you will also see some other choice additions to the wall:


Someone called Smurf put up his tag at some point in '08, only for someone else to add something telling him exactly what they think about him.


Also on the wall to the right there is a picture of the male genitalia that leaves a bit to be desired as it appears to have gonads at both ends. It may just be me and I am new here but I started drawing these on my school books aged 10 or so and am sure that is not how they are meant to be.  

Kablammo!!!

I did my first actual shooting yesterday which was awesome.


It was at my mate Charlie's house where they have a duck pond. LL's cousin Mark leant me a shotgun and they gave me some cartridges to go crazy with. 


We got there at dusk and walked out to the pond through the bog. I nearly lost a wellie at one point but managed to wriggle it out without the foot coming out but it was close. Mark gave me a quick lesson on how the gun worked and then wisely got well out of the way.


As it got darker a few birds came over. We missed the first three as we were all too busy yacking but soon we were locked and loaded and ready for action.


I mistook the next bird that came along for a bat so did not get the gun up in time but was ready and waiting for the next ones and let off two shots in quick succession, nearly sinking into the bog in the process. The others also had a go at the same time and we got a couple of the buggers. I say we. I was just happy not to have shot any of my fellow humans and to have been part of the team. Maybe I got them, maybe I didnt.


When it was dark we headed back in. Not a moment too soon as far as my freezing feet were concerned. Some vintage port soon thawed the blood and got me back on track.


Now we leave them for a couple of weeks and then head back to do more of the same. 


Even evenings here are fun.

There is a new addition to the family......

.....and it is not, as many people have so far assumed a foetus. 


It's a puppy.

She is soooo cute, I dont even like dogs. Correction - didnt even like dogs.

Her name at the moment is Pinky but thus may change.

All together now - AAAAHHHH!!!

They weren't lying.......

....... about the weather.


We had a hell of a storm last night and it was chucking it down with a vengeance today and there is meant to be more of the same tonight.


Hmmmm!?!

Shoot Number 2

There was another shoot on Saturday this weekend and I went along to do some beating again.

The weather was beautiful and sunny, if a little cold.

Here is a picture of me in action with some equipment given to me by LL's cousin Mark.

I have been here less than two months and already LL's family have made me go out waving orange flags. What is next? Drumming?

This week we are been mostly eating game

Wednesday and Thursday was wood pigeon, lovingly blasted out of the sky and prepared by JD.

Tonight is venison steaks. Yumma yumma yumma. Bagsy I get the one closer to me.

Tomorrow should be pheasant as am beating at a shoot again. 


(Insert Homeresque drooling sound effect here)

Another awesome weekend

At the last minute on friday, we decided to go to the caravans in the sand dunes at Portnoo in Donegal on the west coast of Southern Ireland. LL's folks were going with a few of their friends and the LL's colleague in the wine biz was there with his family.


LL drove down on Friday through rain, wind and even fog at one point, but even though we also had a run in with the law, we still got there in record time.


We had a lovely meal and consumed lots of wine. As the Scrabble was about to come out and I was going to mentally go through my suspect two-letter words LL quickly decided we should visit our other friends in their caravan and would not take no for an answer. We staggered over, quoffed another couple of bottles of wine and chatted until the early hours. 


When it was time to go we said our goodbyes and off we went until we made our excuses and left. Foolishly I chose to walk in a straight line back to our caravan and as I had not packed my night-vision goggles this proved to be disasterous. Here is a picture of the bank I failed to see and rolled to the bottom of.

Still at least I was awake this time.


Got up on Saturday with a hell of a hangover and memory loss from the end of the night before. I blame concussion, LL says wine.


Spent two days going for walks, eating and drinking lovely food, getting fresh sea air and basically enjoying the last few days of sunshine.

Portnoo is awesome. Where else in the world can you have miles and miles of sandy beach and be able to count the number of people you see on your fingers.


Didnt get to play golf this time but you cant have everything. 

Unfortunately the caravan park is now closed down until March so no more of this til then. Bummer. Still there will be plenty more things to do between now and then as as soon as it opens again we will be back.

Awesome weekend - part 2 (Sunday)

Got up on Sunday feeling a bit worse for wear but the sun was shining and it would have been wasted staying indoors.


LL asked if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach which sounded like a good idea but we got a better one when our friends asked if we were up for walking up Slieve Donard - the tallest of the Morne Mountains, and visible from our house (and a lot of Northern Ireland).

Slightly anxious about my fitness we agreed, got picked up by two of our friends and picked up a third and his car and off we went. We stopped at a shop to get supplies - water and chocolate for some, cigarettes and a chicken sandwich for others.


Firstly you go up through some woods along a river 

It then opens out but does not get any easier. Here are two of my group looking like true explorers (in their nylon old-school {literally} rugby shirt and non-waterproof hiking shoes) with the forest behind - 

- and here is what we had ahead - 

There was a difference in pace between us all and some of us were finding it harder going than others - perhaps the backpack and pre-hike cigar weren't such a good idea Charlie.

Fin, the one person I thought would be rubbish stormed on ahead and at one point while we were resting and getting our breath back could be seen actually running up the mountain. 

The final part of the climb was steep - 

Luckily for Charlie, Fin had taken over carrying his backpack and we all headed up  to the summit together.

At the top you are meant to put a stone that you have carried from the bottom onto the pile. Here is proof that I made it and that my rock is smaller than a lot of the ones other people have brought before me.

  
At the top it became apparent why Charlie had been struggling on the way up. His backpack was not only a high quality piece of hiking kit, it was also carrying up two bottles of red wine and glasses for all so we could toast our achievement in style.

Both bottles quoffed it was time to head down and we had parked a car elsewhere so had a different route to descend. It was gorgeous on the way down too and you could see how big a mountain range the Mornes are and I look forward to many more walks in the area in the future.

We woz there.

We time our descent perfectly and as we took our last steps off the mountain it was pretty much dark. The last thing I saw before getting to Bloody Bridge carpark was this contraption can only be meant to stop any fatties attempting to climb the mountain for health and safety purposes.

Slieve Donard - DONE!!


All there was left to do was to go for a celebratory Guinness or two (as you can see one of us has a drinking problem) and some food. 

 Great weekend! Bring on the next one.