Awesome weekend - part 2 (Sunday)

Got up on Sunday feeling a bit worse for wear but the sun was shining and it would have been wasted staying indoors.


LL asked if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach which sounded like a good idea but we got a better one when our friends asked if we were up for walking up Slieve Donard - the tallest of the Morne Mountains, and visible from our house (and a lot of Northern Ireland).

Slightly anxious about my fitness we agreed, got picked up by two of our friends and picked up a third and his car and off we went. We stopped at a shop to get supplies - water and chocolate for some, cigarettes and a chicken sandwich for others.


Firstly you go up through some woods along a river 

It then opens out but does not get any easier. Here are two of my group looking like true explorers (in their nylon old-school {literally} rugby shirt and non-waterproof hiking shoes) with the forest behind - 

- and here is what we had ahead - 

There was a difference in pace between us all and some of us were finding it harder going than others - perhaps the backpack and pre-hike cigar weren't such a good idea Charlie.

Fin, the one person I thought would be rubbish stormed on ahead and at one point while we were resting and getting our breath back could be seen actually running up the mountain. 

The final part of the climb was steep - 

Luckily for Charlie, Fin had taken over carrying his backpack and we all headed up  to the summit together.

At the top you are meant to put a stone that you have carried from the bottom onto the pile. Here is proof that I made it and that my rock is smaller than a lot of the ones other people have brought before me.

  
At the top it became apparent why Charlie had been struggling on the way up. His backpack was not only a high quality piece of hiking kit, it was also carrying up two bottles of red wine and glasses for all so we could toast our achievement in style.

Both bottles quoffed it was time to head down and we had parked a car elsewhere so had a different route to descend. It was gorgeous on the way down too and you could see how big a mountain range the Mornes are and I look forward to many more walks in the area in the future.

We woz there.

We time our descent perfectly and as we took our last steps off the mountain it was pretty much dark. The last thing I saw before getting to Bloody Bridge carpark was this contraption can only be meant to stop any fatties attempting to climb the mountain for health and safety purposes.

Slieve Donard - DONE!!


All there was left to do was to go for a celebratory Guinness or two (as you can see one of us has a drinking problem) and some food. 

 Great weekend! Bring on the next one.

Awesome weekend - part 1 (Saturday)

This weekend was action packed and awesome.


I got up early on Saturday to go on the first shoot of the season. I wasn't shooting - as the only thing I would be likely to hit was other people, and apparently that is frowned upon in these parts - so was going along as a beater to help get the birds in the air.


I have not yet been able to bring myself to buy a Barbour jacket so was kitted out in semi-inappropriate gear. Still it kept me dryish and nobody pointed and laughed which I took as a good thing. This was us getting ready to go. 

We spent a couple of hours going from drive to drive (technical jargon for shooting session) and wood to wood, whooping and shouting and banging on trees and generally scaring the bejesus out of the wildlife, and encouraging the occasional pheasant to take off and meet its maker.


My future father-in-law bagged a couple of birds early on and I managed to chase one bird like a mad man and get it off the ground so it felt like a successful start to the day.

At one point I heard what sounded like a bird in a tree so went over to it to hit it with my beating stick. Unfortunately I did not check the ground next to the tree and found myself falling into the brambles and a quite large hole up to my waist. Luckily another beater was at hand to drag me out and another valuable lesson was learned.


Lunch came not a moment too soon, and was delicious. Guinness, wine and pheasant curry. Woof!! Loads of chat and met lots more of the friends of the family. I found out later that I was meant to sit with the other beaters' so another cock-up notched up by me, but the wine that I got on the head table made me not worry about it for too long.


We went back out for another two drives after lunch and the elements became more and more Irish, and we all got more and more wet and windswept. 


Enough birds were shot for all to be happy and I was glad that it had not been too much of a bloodbath and slaughter. Here are some future meals.

Everything will end up in the pot eventually so there is nothing to worry about - my conscience is clean and pheasant tastes good.

We got back home at a reasonable hour, knackered but having had a very enjoyable experience. I am going to do more beating in the future and plan to have a few goes (is that how you spell that in this instance?) blasting the hell out of clay pigeons before trying it out on live things such as pheasants or sheep.


We got invited and went to dinner at a friend's house and then had a banging sesh in the pub and earned myself a well deserved hangover. 


A good day all round.

Home Grown

One of the things I was most looking forward to when moving over here was growing fresh fruit and vegetables, and in the long term plan on having animals that produce food as well.


LL bought me this awesome book as a welcome present - 

It has everything you need to know about growing things and keeping animals and running a fuel efficient house. I am looking forward to the day it will become my bible when we have a house and some space of our own.


For the time being we have been stealing home grown food from LL's parents who have a amazing vegetable patch and greenhouse which produce a fantastic array of fresh fruit and vegetables. 


Fresh, home grown food just tastes better. Fact. 


They do not always look better though. Fact. As this picture will prove.

This is a tomato that looks like Leslie Ash's lips after the swelling had gone down.

This one provided the inspiration for Leatherface's mask in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  

Ugly but tasty. A good way to be.

What the feck is this?????

I saw this thing today....

WTF???


It looks like the offspring of the improbable (although not impossible) sexual relationship between a slug and a hedgehog.


Or it could be a black slug that has just come back with corn-roles from the barber shop.

Golf

It was a beautiful day in NI today so I played golf with LL's brother Ed and his friend Gavin who is a member at Royal County Down.

It is known as one of the very top golf courses in the world and for good reason. Situated in the shadow of the Mourne Mountains with the Irish Sea lapping the shores to one side - only a heavy slice away - it is an absolutely beautiful place to play golf.

I know what it can be like playing on links courses so I made sure I had a bumper supply of balls and must have had at least 20 when we started. Needless to say I came back with a substantially lighter bag but at least I had enough to get me round.

I got off to a good start winning the first hole. Unfortunately I was going to have to wait another 17 holes before I could say that again. Ed won the match easily (the bastard) and you can see from his swing below that he has played before.

Gavin tried to keep me in the game with advice about the lay of the land that only local knowledge could provide. First bit of advice that I failed to adhere to was avoid the gorse bushes. I tried but found it impossible and once the balls were in there there was no finding them or even if you did, no getting them out.


Second bit of advice was to avoid the bunkers. Apparently Tiger Woods himself played here a few years ago and had an awful round going into and not getting out of the bunkers. They are beasts - less forgiving than John Wayne Bobbitt's wife was.

At one point I found myself with the above tough third shot to the green.


All I had to do was keep the head down and pretend that the bunker was not there. Ignore the bunker, ignore the bunker. Head down. The bunker does not exist.

SHIT!!!! Unfortunately the bunker did exist and the head did not stay down. Less said about the rest of that hole the better.


I soon found out that it is not always better avoiding the sand, no matter how finely judged the shot may be (although technically I guess I WAS in the bunker). Guess where this shot ended up.

Lucky for me I have a good temperament for golf, and a good supplier of American lake balls so thoroughly enjoyed our game. 

I did not win but I did take part and as long as the conditions are as good next time (which they never will be again) I think I will play better. there is certainly much room for improvement.


Just to emphasize how lovely the people over here tend to be - we were looking for a drink afterwards and went to a nearby pub, which was closed. The one two doors down was also closed but there were some women coming and going out of it who told us they were closed on Mondays. We discussed where to go and were struggling to come up with an option when she said 'Oh come in boys I'll give youse a pint'. So she poured us three Guinesses, chatted to us while we drank them and then sent us on our way.


Perfect way to spend a Monday.


  

Neenaaneenaaneenaaneenaa

Today I heard my first siren in NI. 18 days after arriving. It was an ambulance. 


I remember when I couldnt go to sleep until a siren had gone past.


Quiet life.

Currency

I am pleased to announce that being part of the Uk the currency in Northern Ireland is Sterling, so I have not had to adjust. 


I have seen first hand that Northern Irish bank notes can be very difficult to spend in England as most of the English shopkeepers have never seen them before and are naturally suspicious of the unknown, however, I think they are preferable and here is why:-

Look at the rinsemaster on the ten pound note. Such a badass he turns up for his monetary portrait rocking a turtleneck sweater. It doesnt get any better than that.


I have heard that the girl on the fifty pound note is wearing hotpants and a teeny bikini top but unfortunately I havent had one yet to see it for myself.


BB
x  

Weather in NI

Surprisingly the weather has been pretty good since we got here. Lots of blue skies and nice sunsets (and one sunrise witnessed). This was the view from our bedroom this evening.

We have been for a trip on the boat on Strangford Lough, hoping to catch some mackerel but none were biting. I am surprised more people dont move here for the weather.

LL had better reception on her phone out there so was busy sending texts instead of concentrating on the non-existent fish.

Of course it has rained once or twice since we got here. I was sitting out in the garden one afternoon reading my book  when I looked over my shoulder and saw the darkest most foreboding cloud I have ever seen. I quickly went back inside and within minutes we were engulfed by the most ferocious rain I have ever seen. The drains could not get rid of the water quick enough. This is more like what I signed up for.

Rain + Sun = Rainbows.

At the end of the rainbow I hope to find me lucky charms so I do.

The first week

It seems that I have been rubbish at putting this blog on here and am getting left behind. 

Below is a summary of our first week here and some stuff we did. I am not going to write this sort of thing every week so dont worry about that.

LL met her Godfather at the airport and our mate FF was on the plane we were on - it is either a very small world or Northern Ireland is actually quite a small place where everyone knows everyone. 

First thing on Tuesday we moved in to our new house, a nice little 3 bed with a garden on a modern housing development which we call an estate - different to London estates in that the kids play 40-40 after school instead of throwing loaded bin bags at you from the top floor. Our house has not been lived in for 5 years and the local kids seem to have been using the garden as a smoking/drinking/shagging venue for most of those - spent ages removing broken glass from the grass. We can see cows from our garden and bedroom - this was something I demanded before moving in.

We spent the day moving our stuff over in LL's dad's truck and trailer and we learned that LL sucks at reversing with a trailer and I am fecking awesome at it. LL's bro helped us get hold of a banger for £450 which I will be pimping up with some spinnys and a fish tank in the near future. For the time being I am content in the knowledge that rust is the new chrome.

Have had a few very important things to do - tax and fill up the car, do a mega Asda shop, get firewood, and most importantly get me some wellies - DONE!! I have been at the DIY, putting together stuff from Ikea, fixing the attic ladder that I broke and putting up clothes hooks on a lot of doors, only one of which I managed to drill all the way through - not a bad average.

On Thursday we went over to our mate FF's house and OMFG it was amazing. As well as a butterfly house with reptiles and insects and peacocks running about the place, his house is full of the coolest and most unusual stuff I have ever seen. He has a horse-drawn fire engine and ancient library, and this gem of a nazi helmet from ze War. Antiques Roadshow could do a whole series from his house and I look forward to snooping around more in the future.

On Saturday we got up at the crack of dawn to help LL's sister in law with setting up decorations for a wedding. This was not an easy thing as our next door neighbour's 18yo son had spent an hour playing fetch with his dog with a beer can at 2 in the morning so not the best nights sleep ever - I thought the kids were back and LL thought our firewood was being jacked. We were going to stay in so while she was having a doze I went to the local butcher (from Woking) for some ribeye steaks. On the way there I was doing the usual London thing of avoiding looking at the large skinhead man walking towards me. As I passed him I looked up and as soon as he caught my eye he was like "Howareyadoingohlovelydayforawalksoitisalrightyes" Brilliant.

Then agreed to go to the pub but our friends had to eat first. By the time they had finished it was 11 and I thought we had missed it but we texted the landlord to say we were on our way and six of us jumped into a cab and off we went. They stayed open until we left which is how all pubs should behave.  

Sunday was spent nursing hangovers and eating Sunday lunch. You cant ask for more than that. 

Week one done. Bring on the rest.