The Honeymoon period is over..........

.......Boohoo.


Sorry a post has been so long in coming but I have had a busy couple of months.


For those who dont know, LL and I got married on 18th of June. When we have some pictures to show I will write some stuff about the wedding but for now I will just say it was friggin' awesome. Absolutely amazing. LL shall forever hereafter be referred to as LB (on here). 


We went to Italy for our honeymoon so for now I will tell you a bit about that. 


Before going I downloaded a teach yourself Italian course - 8 Cds worth - but sod's law dictated that the first disk did not download. As a result I knew some clever phrases (like pua dire me dove....., please can you tell me where...) but not the vocab to finish it off (the library is??). Was a bit of a bummer but luckily most people spoke enough English for us to get by so was good. I did know some words that came in handy.


The cab was booked for 3.15am the Monday after and was to take us to Dublin to fly to Rome. LL was renowned for being a terrible traveller, and LB started her married life as the same. She got into the cab and then says that she has left her phone charger in the house. 15 minutes later and we have broken into her folks house and retrieved it and are off 15 minutes late.


The cabbie decided to drive like a granny on a mobility scooter and time was running out to get to the airport on time. That and the fact that I thought we were flying Aer Lingus instead of Ryanair (wishful bloody thinking and a completely different terminal) meant that by the time we got on the plane we had already had quite a stressful journey. Still we were on the plane and on our way to Italia.


We arrived and it was hot. Hot hot hot. Brilliant, but it made me wonder if the three jackets, two jumpers and a fleece that I had been dragging around were going to be surplus to requirements. We decided to get the bus into Rome to save some pennies (WTF were we thinking??!?) which was a bit of a pain and after walking for 30 minutes we were at our first point of call. Fortunately it was not this place that I thought looked quite interesting - 

Whats with the nose? I cant see what benefits that may have for gays or lesbians. Oh right. I get it now.


Instead we were staying at one of the Rome Luxury Suites which was much more like it. 

Located in a quiet courtyard (above) just off Via Margutta (below) - one of Rome's most beautiful roads, as seen in the film Roman Holiday) we were told my some Italians later in the trip).

  
....and the room itself was incredible - best hotel(ish) room I/we have ever stayed in. The photos I have do not do it justice. Large living room area, huge bedroom with walk-in wardrobes, amazing bathroom. Here are some any way.

So we had a day and a half wandering around Rome, mostly aimlessly, and we saw great historical and modern sights including - 


The Colloseum - 

The big marble monument roundabout thing - 

This fishy fountain - 

He's got the right idea - deal with the octopus attacking the family jewels and then get rid of the pigeon on the head.


Some awesome artwork - 

and my personal favourite - this statue of the Abdul Ceasar (the lesser known Islamic Ceasar) and his four wives of choice - 

Rome is full of gorgeous and glamourous people and everyone is super fashion conscious. This does not stop with just the humans and I was amazed to see that even the working ponies take pride in their appearance and like to look sharp - 

A day and a half in sweltering Rome, as tired as we were, was enough and we picked up our hire car (Fiat Panda one point zero baby yeah) on Tuesday afternoon (LB "forgot" her driving licence back at the room so guess who was doing all of the driving for the whole f*@%ing holiday) and we started off on phase two of our honeymoon in Tuscany.


Before more about Tuscany I have to mention something about driving in Italy and Italian drivers. Rome is a nightmare to drive in - FACT. I had primed LB that it was not going to be easy and to not scream at me too much and to give her her dues, she was very good, even when we were driving towards a stream of six lanes of cars coming towards us and when we crossed straight back over the river that we had just crossed. Throughout Italy you have to be aggressive when driving and it is no surprise that most of the cars in Rome have at least one scrunch or scrape on their bodywork. When you get onto the bigger/faster roads it is like everyone else is playing Gran Turismo. You dont look in your mirror for a couple of seconds and next thing you know it is like you have a car in your backseat. They drive along the motorway indicating, flashing lights and in one case with the brighties on in the daytime so you know to get out of the way. The roads however are gorgeous to drive on, lots of hills with curves and turns, and when my wife had given me some useful driving pointers I was away and she was gutted not to be able to drive. 


So we were on our way to the first of our relaxing destinations - Villa Bengodi on the Western Tuscan Coast. 

This was more like it. A lovely villa in the middle of nowhere with a private beach, crystal clear water and sunshine. 

Whilst here I underwent a transformation. This is one of those spot the difference type things. Five points per difference (maximum ten points) - 

From there we went to a place called Cortesa de Forteza near San Gimignano (spelling in Italian is not my strong point). 

Another lovely boutiquey B&B with six rooms, great views (from the loo in our room), a great pool and a high quality clientele of drivers like ourselves.

From there to Montepulciano where we stayed in Relais St Bruno which had a lush room -

a cool pool - 

sweetass hammocks - 

and useful and attractive people from whom to get directions - 

We did a 3 day cookery course, where we made three courses a day (which we then ate for lunch with a bottle of their wine) including learning to make three types of pasta and cook sausages and sausage meat in a variety of clever ways. The plan was to take a picture of each of the three courses every day but as is often the case with plans, I have none to show.


We were stressing about what presents to bring back for the nieces and nephews until we found this gem of a shop which solved all of our problems in one - 

Crossbows for everyone!! Woohoo!! We decided against it in the end as we thought LB's brother Ed would have an apple on each of his kids' heads before it was even out of the box.


Of course I took lots of photos of buildings and alleyways and statues and vistas. I tried to get LB to pose for photos but it seems she is not too keen on being photographed. I did however get many of her disappearing into the distance.

When I did find her again she either had found a gelato shop - 

or perhaps was to be found being chatted up by some Italian hunk - 

The last place we stayed was Locanda Rosetti near Orvieto in Umbria. 

The best thing about this one was that we got to have four course dinner with the owner and the rest of the guests, and free booze. Now that I was not having to drive home after the meal, I was able to let my hair down and get plastered on the free wine, limoncello and grappa. Something I did with great relish.

Needless to say we stayed in some awesome places, went to many cool towns and villages, ate and drink some fantastic stuff, and basically had the time of our lives. 


It was a bit of a pain to come back to Ireland but at least we had the weekend to enjoy ourselves before going back to work.


On Saturday we went to Northern Ireland's premier festival where we and about 50 (max) other people -

......got to see a few bands including the awesome beatboxer Shlomo - 

......and my friend CK got his face painted - Meow!! 

......embarrassed at all LS?


Sunday we were invited to out friend LF's island where we spent the day in the sunshine eating great food, having a few beers and swimming in Strangford Lock. 

Here is a view from their loo (this may become a theme). 

Bloody great. 


I was actually quite relieved to go back to work to burn off some of the alcohol and pasta that I had ingested over the previous couple of weeks.


Married life has proved to be pretty tough thus far. Long may it continue!!

Election fever.....

.......the election is almost upon us and I know who I am going to be voting for. 


I think he might be Scottish originally and is often found sleeping but is easy to get up.

Go the Gimp!!!

Cregagh Glen....

....I have been busy working away and have been spending a lot of time in a place called Cregagh Glen. It is pretty much in the middle of Belfast, just off a main road, and is a valley with a little stream running along it with mature trees on steep banks on both sides. Tristan and I were there to survey all of the trees on behalf of the council to make sure any defects were noted so as to avoid any falling on members of the public - if at all possible.

It is really well hidden so not too many people know about it. Kids use it to get to one of the local schools and quite a few locals walk their dogs there so we were constantly treading in dog poo - which was nice. 


I have been able to see the Spring arrive, watching buds opening up, and one of the things I think is coolest is ferns unrolling - 

As many of the trees are situated on very steep banks, Tristan and I had to use ropes to abseil down to them to tag and inspect them. Lucky for me Tristan is an expert tree climber and outdoor activist so I felt in good hands and even learned a lot of useful knots and techniques for mountain climbing etc. This is me getting ready to go over the abyss (FYI it was raining and my waterproofs are super high viz, I wasn't going out partying straight from work unfortunately) -  

It has been really useful with my tree recognition. I can now tell the difference between Beeches and Sycamores, Elm and Oaks. Below is a prime example of one of the healthy male Beech trees that the Glen has to offer -

We quickly realised that the local kids used the park for all types of fun and did not have as much respect for the trees as we had hoped. As well as trees that had been graffitied upon, there were ones in various stages of being chopped down and plenty that had been set on fire and that were only just still standing - 

Unfortunately it meant that we have to condemn these trees that have been living for hundreds of years to be felled, even if they are still just about alive.


It was not always raining I am pleased to announce and we had quite a few nice days too. This photo shows that I dont have to wear full high viz all the time - 

From this vantage point I took a photo of Tristan for his collection and as I was taking it I noticed something incredible. Look carefully and you can see in the background the lair of a large animal of some kind - 

This required some further inspection so closer I went. As I got nearer and nearer I got more and more excited as it became apparent that this was a genuine leprechaun den. I had seen some grainy pictures of abandoned dens before but dont know anyone who had ever actually seen one in real life, and there have only been rumours of unconfirmed sightings of the actual creatures.  

I decided to inspect it even more closely and was making my way over when I got the surprise of my life. Not only have I now seen and photographed a leprechaun's den but as I was getting really close I was amazed to find that this was an active den. 


I was about five feet away when from out of the darkness a leprechaun appeared. It snarled viciously at me, and before I had time to react, it had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.


It was only later when I looked back through my photos that I realised I must have had my finger on the trigger of my camera at the time. Not only had I seen a leprechaun but I had taken the only photo of one in existence. I am in negotiations with the National Enquirer - just my luck that the Sunday Sport has gone bust this week - and think that I will be a millionaire within the next few days. LL is very happy about this. 


So just for you guys. Apologies it is a bit blurred.  

A 100% genuine Irish Leprechaun.  

Irish Radio....

.....we was on my way to where we were working this morning and we were listening to Cool FM in the lorry.


I had never heard the quiz before but this morning it was a peach.


The jist of it was that someone would call in with three clues to lead the public towards a famous person and whoever guessed who it was would win a prize.


So Callum comes on the line and he must be about 10 years old:-


DJ - so Callum what are your three clues
Callum - Number 1 - it is a male. Number 2 - He is in a boy band. Number 3 - he is really cool.
DJ - Okayyyy. This is going to be a toughie. Lets see what we get then.
1st caller - Robbie Williams
Callum - No
2nd caller - Mark Owen
Callum - No
3rd caller - (someone I had not heard of)
Callum - No
DJ - Hello, hello is there anyone there? no. OK next caller. Cool FM.
4th Caller - Aaaahhhh. FUCK YOU!!
Callum - No


Bloody hilarious and worked out well for Callum because as there was no winning caller, he got the prize, although I am pretty sure that a week's supply of Guinness is not an appropriate prize for a 10 year old child.

Tourism Ireland.....

.........I was driving along the other day and saw the road sign below.

 

Of course I had to stop and check it out and spent a good few hours rummaging around in there.

I can honestly say that the last time I had that much fun was the day I spent hanging out in the Wookie Hole.

All play and no work make Ben a dull boy.....

..........and as a result I have started working again. It feels great to be getting up at 6ish in the morning and working through until 5pm.

I have done a week and a day at Clarke Cunningham Tree Maintentance and so far so good. I have been put with a very experienced tree surgeon called Tristan. He has been showing me the ropes and I will learn a lot from him. He goes up the trees and I am on the ground doing what I can. Small world that this is it turns out that LL's dad has met him when he was working near his house, a friend of ours is teaching him a musical instrument and LL went to school with his wife. It would have been unusual if this was not the case.

My first day was spent doing some glorified gardening work, trimming hedges and chipping some branches that were a byproduct of this and what Tristan was doing.


The second and third days we were in the South of Ireland at a stately home owned by one of the richest men in Ireland. It was 5km from the area with the highest levels of Granny murder in all of Ireland -

We initially got taken around the grounds, discussing what was to be done with one of the guys who works there (who of course turned out to be LL's sister's neighbour).  Since then we have shaped and pruned about 30 trees so that they can be picked up with a tree spade and transported to become part of a hedge. 


On Thursday we were back near Belfast and were greeted with a slightly more tricky job to take care of - 

As is the way we spent the first half hour or so discussing how we were going to set up the crane to pick up and lift over the house the two trees in the background which we needed to dismantle and get out of the garden.


By not rushing in all saws blazing we realised that there was a road behind the garden from which we were able to do everything without risking dropping many tons of wood through the roof of our clients.


We set up and Tristan got hoisted up by the crane and dumped into the top of the tree - 

From there he attached chains from the crane to the tree and cut the tree into large chunks to be brought down to earth.

We processed them by removing the branches and they went off to become firewood.

As we had some time to kill the boss sent us off to a garden to plant two young trees to make up for the two we just cut down. Sizewise they were pretty different so my carbon karma for the day was heavily negative.

Friday was more like what I thought it was going to be like. We were parked up on the side of a busy road, lopping down trees that would soon be in danger of falling into the road and chipping them up. This was proper hard physical work which is just what I needed to earn me a drunken weekend celebrating EB's 30th and my birthday with friends over from London as a surprise. 


Great to see you BF and Alex. Come any time. It did make me realise some of what I am missing not being in London. Things from London are just a little bit cooler. They even have special toothpaste there - 

Duraphat with a 'PH'. Flash bastards.